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realweddings.ca 25 the authentic inclusions are accounted for and carried out accordingly," she says. In McNally's experience, it's frequently sisters, mothers and aunts who have a stronger opinion about how things should be done. "It's important to hear them out and communicate with them clearly about how the couple wishes to include certain elements," she advises. But sometimes it can boil down to picking your battles. "If something is extremely important to the family and doesn't cause the couple too much concern, then let it happen! at way, when you do feel strongly about something or forgoing a particular tradition, you will be able to say that it's a give and take." BE TRUE TO YOU Unfortunately, it's almost unavoidable that someone will be off ended by a decision the bride and groom have made in a cross-cultural wedding. at's because sensitivities in some families will be more elevated than in others. All you can do is be mindful of sensitive topics within your particular families, McNally says. " e best advice I can off er is to be honest, communicate clearly one's desires, be authentic and true to who you are in the present day, and confi dent in whatever choices are made. Ideally, the families are supportive of the couple's decision to honour both heritages and traditions and look at it as a modern and respectful way of uniting two people in love." Because that, essentially, is what the wedding is all about: an announcement to the world that love knows no boundaries. "In the end, it's about two people coming together creating their own family and version of their ancestry in a modern time," McNally refl ects. Be warned, there may well be stress and family friction on the road to organizing a cross-cultural wedding. But the learning curve can be a useful one for couples as they prepare to face the future together. "Back each other up and remain united in your choices and decisions," McNally advises. " at's what marriage is about — a strong, united front." rw forever...