Issue link: http://digital.canadawide.com/i/162471
realexperience By Jenn Farrell Illustration by Rachel Gordon W hen my husband Rob and I began planning our wedding, we found plenty of common ground: an intimate guest list. Lots of personal touches. Good music and food. What we couldn't seem to find was a suitable venue. Everything "too much" this, or "not enough" that. It was our friends Dave and Doreen who ended up saving the day. Their family's beautifully landscaped property in a forested glade outside of Vancouver was ideal for a front-yard ceremony and tented back-garden reception. The necessary arrangements, bookings and rentals were all made with only minor bridal meltdowns (I maintain to this day that freaking out over finding the perfect pink tablecloths makes complete sense). Best of all, friends and family worked together to create the picture I'd held in my mind: cupcakes made by my mother-in-law, decorated by my best friend, topped with a bride and groom handmade by my daughter. Doreen set up what we jokingly called "the sweatshop" in her rec room and we soon filled it with literally hundreds of paper flowers, lanterns and other decorations for the big day. On the day itself, everyone pitched in yet again. Flowers were picked up, lights were strung and every child was put to work tying favour bags. The older girls served pink lemonade to arriving guests. My girlfriends ensured that I started my preparations early enough to be only a half-hour behind schedule for my walk down the aisle (because my being late totally counts as a "personal touch"). The weather held and everyone had a wonderful time. Rob and I were exhausted and happy. All that remained before we embarked on our honeymoon was to return to the house the next day and clean up. Our hosts were leaving early that morning for their family vacation — we wouldn't be able to get inside, but it didn't matter — the rentals team and the catering crew would pick nearly everything up, and we'd only need to stack a few things on the back porch. "What time do we need to get up tomorrow?" asked my new husband as we drifted off. "How about noon?" I mumbled. No such luck. Rob woke me at 8:30. "I think we'd better head over there. What time are the rental people coming again?" "Not until at least 11," I said. I have no idea where I got that number. Perhaps I was delusional with joy. I called the rental office. "They just left in the truck," said the receptionist. "Should be there in half an hour." I'm pretty sure I put my pants on in the car as Rob drove well above the posted speed limit. We had less than 30 minutes to strip all the lights and décor from the tents, stack the tables and chairs, put the glasses and candle holders in bins, and move the garbage and recycling out of the way so the workmen could dismantle and pack the tents and furnishings. The rain began to fall (of course) as we pulled into the driveway. I recall sprinting from one end of the yard to the other with garbage bags in hand, literally launching myself from tabletops to tear down decorations beyond my reach (the ladder used the day before now safely locked in the garage). Rain-soaked and panicking, we flung wet tablecloths in one direction and empty bottles in the other. My in-laws arrived, the only ones with the foresight to have considered the morning after, and without so much as an "I told you so," began hauling boxes and stacking tables. When the truck pulled up — thank goodness they'd stopped at Tim Hortons and bought us a few extra minutes — things were relatively tidy. When they finally drove away, I'm pretty sure one of us said, "Eventually, this is going to seem hilarious." So, brides: Take advantage of offers for help, but remember that there's more than the big day itself. Whether it's watering the plants and checking the mail while you're on your honeymoon or cleaning up the venue the day after, recruit a warm body or two to help you deal with the days following the wedding. You don't want the aftermath to undo the magic of the wedding itself. By the time Rob and I got back to the hotel, dried off and finally smiled at each other across an enormous breakfast, we decided we wouldn't let it. But "hilarious"? Five years later, I'm still waiting. rw I'm pretty sure one of us said, "Eventually, this is going to seem hilarious" 22 R EA L WEDDINGS pg22-31_Real_Experience_Advice.indd 22 12-09-24 12:36 PM